Dress: Palazzo by J. Crew. Sunglasses: Thatcher in Walnut Tortoise, part of the Auteur Collection by Warby Parker. Necklace: Isis in Yellow by Dana LeBlanc. Earrings: The Ellen by Dana LeBlanc. Photo by my sweet and dashing husband.
The other day, I opened my closet, cursed most of its contents, and pulled from it this dress.
I call it my plan B dress. B in this case stands for burlap, as in sack. Or bloated or beached like a bulbous-craniumed beluga whale. You get it. It’s for the days when I want nothing to do with anything remotely fitted or without stretch.
This precious dress is black, pleated and made of jersey knit. Without the braided belt that simply ties on without having to jam it through any frustrating twisted threads attempting to pass as belt loops, it billows like a parachute in gym class. (I’m from a very small town where we played with a giant parachute in gym class. Is that normal? Or is that just a country thing? Anyway, if you have no idea what I’m talking about, you missed out. You’d all stand around a parachute, wave it about and maybe put a few bouncy balls atop. The goal was to keep the balls from bouncing off of the parachute while furiously shaking the parachute up and down. Jolly good fun.) With the belt, this dress retains its diaphanous qualities while lending shape. I can wear a normal bra with it and just about any shoes I like. I wish I had purchased several when I had the chance, because J. Crew no longer carries it.
The best thing about my plan B dress is that I can accessorize with almost anything. Here, I’ve paired it with one of my favorite necklaces: the Isis from Dana LeBlanc Designs. It mixes in a little Egyptian revival with the Grecian cut of the dress. It’s easy but still feels upscale, and you know how I like to mix my historic millenia.
Do you have a plan B dress in your wardrobe? If so, please share! If not, I suggest establishing one. It will save you tons of time.
Clearly, there are not 50 swimsuits in this Polyvore. Clearly, I threw them together after filtering swimwear under $50 and chose the more whacktacular styles from the pool of items. (See what I did there, Team Zoe?)
I caught the headline “50 Swimsuits Under $50” on Lucky Magazine’s website. I didn’t click through all of them because (a) ain’t nobody got time for that, and (b) options make me miserable. I would LOVE to have a designer swimsuit that makes me look like Lana Del Rey all coiffed and expressionless by a mid-century LA pool with some faceless tattooed bad boy that I met when he delivered my Jimmy John’s sub FREAKY FAST one day, made my eyes burn when he walked in, and now he’s mooching off me and turns into a crocodile. What!
Swimsuits go through too much abuse for me to plunk down serious cash, and I want a new one every season. Gee, M, what about reversible swimwear? Um No. I don’t want what was once on the inside now exposed to the outside, then again near the intimate parts. Let’s not treat anything near the intimate zone like a 2-in-1 item. That zone needs its own private surface.
A very evil tattooed boyfriend turned crocodile once taught me that not everything expensive is nice, but everything nice is expensive. Swimwear is one of the few areas where this does not necessarily apply, especially if you stick to the trusty string bikini. I’ve found plenty of cute, cheap ones that seem to do the trick.
Poolside Geometry by crumbsonmycashmere featuring marc by marc jacobs bikini
For the past ten springs at least, I perform my weekly cleaning routine to the sounds of Astrud Gilberto and the scent of a Root candle in sampaguita. Warmer weather and a clean home make me happy as does the illusion that I’m experiencing the two in some tropical locale where people often don scarves and never wear flip-flops. The destination that inspires this is ambiguous even to me: somewhere with Brazil’s music and nightlife, the fashionable allure of the Cote d’Azur, and the beaches (and prices) of the Philippines, maybe? Continue reading